ruthless hols

i feel contented. lonely maybe? well, i just feel like i don't care. recent action shows me that i don't deserve any freedom from daddy but that's okay. he's just doing what he does best, being a dad. and thank you mama for those amazing books you bought to defeat my boredom that was trying to conquer my self conscious. you shall never win!

i think im in serious need for help. a simple question from mama was answered by my blurry faces with weird accent. a very simple question : have you had your breakfast yet? just between you and me (and probably raja), i just don't remember. but i know the way i say it macam, i-do-do-dont remmber? it finally came up to me that i am probably belong to a community with green skin, black eyes with huge heads! but why green? why not red or shocking pink? wow. that'll be great. haha. okay, back to the topic. in my defense (on the bad memory thingy) i can't even remember who my first boyfriend was. but look on the bright side, who cares? oh no, certainly not me.

for the record, i've read confession of an old boy by kam raslan, twice. and it's still as funny as the first time i read it. i've read 100 secrets of happy people, again and i'm still happy with the positive influence it has given me but no! i am not reading kennedy's brain again! its scary and too misterious for me to handle. please, im only 19!

mama bought something for nasya's first born. cause she bought something for nana back then. i'll be visiting her tomorrow. really, what does it feels like being a mother at early age? thats just scary. but looking at mama's face, so motherly so soft and poised, i am sure i'll be sorry for my kids. sorry sayang, mummy jahat! haha illusional gila! now i wonder who i'll be marry with, billionaire? no no, too old. a doctor? (okay i only have one person in mind. not yani! no, she's a girl but if she's a guy then that'll be out of the question!). a therapist? oh who cares, i hope too much. i just wish he's nice and never be too caught up with football matches! there i've said it!

i am pretty sure that i'll be lonelier than ever. yani is busy with God's-knows-but-im-pretty-sure-she's-busy-with-exams. na and arda got schools, afifth is too busy with well, ntah. lys went to terengganu to meet her grandparents, yana and sha is enjoying their hols back in ipoh and adib will be off to TLDM lumut next week. and don't let me start with arif, amer and all. i don't want to burst into tears now. well, at least i have raja muhammad danial. thank God.

i am currently chatting with sammy boy. we're fighting over siapa lagi jahat in school. let me update you, i am winning. haha oh well, sammy is certainly a nice boy, a hot 15 year old i must say. kenapa la kau 15? kidding. (ps: currently fighting over siapa baik!) i am so lifeless i could die.

recently i have problems trying to bare with nana the baby sister. she's been talking, a lot non stop! mama thinks that she's been speaking franch but i think she's speaking a little bit of spanish, bahasa and probably a little kelantanese. yes, you should hear her. she's hilarious! well, till i update my boring life blog, later!